102 Chuck Norris Jokes to Rejoice the Final Badass


Chuck Norris. The Man. The Fable. The Legend. The actor, creator and martial artist started appearing within the ‘70s, alongside the likes of Dean Martin and Bruce Lee. By 1983 he made a reputation for himself in Lone McQuade, which impressed his later well-known lead position on Walker, Texas Ranger.

Along with his expansive filmography, Norris has constructed a legend out of himself. Because the early 2000’s, followers have crafted Norris jokes and fictional “info”. They vary from boasts about his roundhouse kicks, to how he’s so highly effective even the darkish is afraid of him.

The important thing to an honest Chuck Norris joke/reality is in its embellishment and sharp supply. They’re quick and to the purpose and don’t want any foundation in actual details about the actor. The simplicity makes every joke memorable and long-lasting.

Though it’s been years since his final appearing position, Norris’ affect lives on as a long-running joke on the Web. In honor of an all-American badass, right here’s 102 Chuck Norris jokes and memorable info.

The Finest Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Jokes

  • Jack was nimble, Jack was fast, however Jack nonetheless could not dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.
    • Within the Starting, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and informed it to get a job.
      • Chuck Norris as soon as roundhouse kicked somebody so onerous that his foot broke the velocity of sunshine
        • If you happen to ask Chuck Norris what time it’s, he all the time says, ‘Two seconds until.’ After you ask, ‘Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you within the face.
          • Chuck Norris appeared within the ‘Avenue Fighter II’ online game, however was eliminated by Beta Testers as a result of each button induced him to do a roundhouse kick. When requested about this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
            • Since 1940, the yr Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick associated deaths have elevated 13,000 p.c.
              • Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so highly effective, it may be seen from outer area by the bare eye.
                • Chuck Norris as soon as roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it right into a diamond mine.
                  • Chuck Norris would not strike gold, gold is the byproduct of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking rocks.

                    The Finest “Energy” Chuck Norris Jokes

                    • Chuck Norris as soon as shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so unhealthy, he put it again collectively.
                      • Mission Not possible was initially set in Chuck Norris’s home.
                        • Chuck Norris makes use of pepper spray to season his meat.
                          • Chuck Norris performs Jenga with Stonehenge.
                            • Chuck Norris is ready to slam a revolving door.
                              • Chuck Norris has a diary, it’s referred to as the Guinness E-book Of World Data.
                                • Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
                                  • When the Tooth fairy involves your home she takes your tooth and provides you cash. When Chuck Norris involves your home he breaks your tooth and takes your cash.
                                    • Chuck Norris gained an arm wrestling match, with each arms tied behind his again.
                                      • When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in form.
                                        • If Chuck Norris have been to journey to an alternate dimension during which there was one other Chuck Norris they usually each fought, they’d each win.

                                          “Scared” Chuck Norris Jokes

                                          • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep each evening he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
                                            • The flu will get a Chuck Norris shot yearly.
                                              • Chuck would not have to throw out the trash, it all the time throws itself out.
                                                • Chuck Norris is the explanation that Wally is all the time hiding.
                                                  • Bigfoot continues to be hiding as a result of he as soon as noticed Chuck Norris strolling within the mountains.
                                                    • Chuck Norris would not fear about excessive gasoline costs. His automobiles run on concern.
                                                      • When Chuck Norris performs dodgeball, the balls dodge him.
                                                        • Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
                                                          • When Chuck Norris’s mother and father had nightmares, they’d come to his bed room.
                                                            • Chuck Norris doesn’t learn books. He stares them down till he will get the knowledge he desires.
                                                              • Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
                                                                • Ghosts inform Chuck Norris tales on the campfire.
                                                                  • The Flash found easy methods to run on the velocity of sunshine when he found Chuck Norris was searching for him.
                                                                    • Chuck Norris would not negotiate with terrorists. The terrorists negotiate with Chuck Norris.
                                                                      • When Chuck Norris appeared into the abyss, the abyss appeared the opposite means.
                                                                        • Chuck Norris made a Glad Meal cry.
                                                                          • Aliens are actual. They’re simply hiding from Chuck Norris.

                                                                            Chuck Norris v. Nature Jokes

                                                                            • Chuck Norris beat the solar in a staring contest.
                                                                              • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic desk, as a result of Chuck Norris solely acknowledges the component of shock.
                                                                                • Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
                                                                                  • Chuck Norris wrecked his bicycle and skinned the sidewalk together with his knee.
                                                                                    • Chuck Norris doesn’t get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
                                                                                      • It’s thought-about a terrific accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a picket barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard field.
                                                                                        • There has by no means been a hurricane named Chuck as a result of it will have destroyed every thing.
                                                                                          • When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t flip the lights on, he turns the darkish off.
                                                                                            • Chuck Norris can construct a snowman out of rain.
                                                                                              • Chuck can set ants on hearth with a magnifying glass. At evening.
                                                                                                • If Chuck Norris was on The Titanic the iceberg would have dodged the ship.
                                                                                                  • The solar has to put on sun shades when Chuck Norris glances at it.
                                                                                                    • There isn’t any concept of evolution, only a checklist of creatures Chuck Norris permits to stay.
                                                                                                      • Main hand sanitizers declare they’ll kill 99.9 p.c of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of regardless of the hell he desires.
                                                                                                        • The dinosaurs checked out Chuck Norris the incorrect means as soon as. You already know what occurred to them.
                                                                                                          • If you’d like a listing of Chuck Norris’ enemies, simply verify the extinct species checklist.
                                                                                                            • As soon as a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After 5 days of excruciating ache, the cobra died.
                                                                                                              • Chuck Norris Vs. Logic Jokes
                                                                                                                • Time waits for no man. Until that man is Chuck Norris.
                                                                                                                  • Chuck Norris would not have to put on a watch, he merely decides what time it’s.
                                                                                                                    • It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to look at 60 Minutes.
                                                                                                                      • Chuck Norris can prepare dinner minute rice in 30 seconds.
                                                                                                                        • Chuck Norris as soon as climbed Mt. Everest in quarter-hour, 14 of which he was constructing a snowman on the backside.
                                                                                                                          • Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March thirty first to April 2nd. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.
                                                                                                                            • Chuck Norris discovered the final digit of pi.
                                                                                                                              • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
                                                                                                                                • When Chuck Norris does division, there aren’t any remainders.
                                                                                                                                  • Chuck Norris has counted to infinity greater than as soon as.

                                                                                                                                    Miscellaneous Chuck Norris Jokes

                                                                                                                                    • Chuck Norris doesn’t personal a range, oven, or microwave, as a result of revenge is a dish greatest served chilly.
                                                                                                                                      • Chuck Norris is ready to sketch your portrait utilizing an eraser.
                                                                                                                                        • Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.
                                                                                                                                          • Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
                                                                                                                                            • Chuck Norris is the one individual on the planet that may kick you at the back of the face.
                                                                                                                                              • Chuck Norris could make a slinky go upstairs.
                                                                                                                                                • Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
                                                                                                                                                  • When Chuck Norris appears to be like in a mirror, the mirror shatters. As a result of not even glass is dumb sufficient to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
                                                                                                                                                    • Chuck Norris can hear signal language.
                                                                                                                                                      • If it appears to be like like rooster, tastes like rooster, and appears like rooster however Chuck Norris says it’s beef, then it’s beef.
                                                                                                                                                        • Chuck Norris’ tears treatment most cancers. Too unhealthy he has by no means cried.
                                                                                                                                                          • Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
                                                                                                                                                            • Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
                                                                                                                                                              • Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary buddies.
                                                                                                                                                                • When Chuck Norris goes to a restaurant, the waiter suggestions him.
                                                                                                                                                                  • When Chuck Norris makes use of the web he can skip adverts at any time when he desires, adverts aren’t capable of skip Chuck Norris.
                                                                                                                                                                    • The Loch Ness Monster claims to have seen Chuck Norris.
                                                                                                                                                                      • When Thanos snapped his fingers, he disappeared. Chuck Norris would not like snapping.
                                                                                                                                                                        • Chuck Norris is aware of Victoria’s secret.
                                                                                                                                                                          • When Chuck Norris enters a constructing that’s on hearth, the Chuck Norris alarm rings.
                                                                                                                                                                            • Chuck Norris has by no means blinked in his whole life. By no means.
                                                                                                                                                                              • When cops method Chuck Norris they are saying “we now have the best to stay silent”.
                                                                                                                                                                                • The Swiss Military makes use of Chuck Norris Knives.
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Chuck Norris can converse Braille.
                                                                                                                                                                                    • Chuck Norris would not dial the incorrect quantity, you choose up the incorrect cellphone.
                                                                                                                                                                                      • Demise as soon as had a near-Chuck-Norris expertise.
                                                                                                                                                                                        • The present Survivor had the unique premise of placing individuals on an island with Chuck Norris. There have been no survivors.
                                                                                                                                                                                          • Chuck Norris doesn’t bathe, he solely takes blood baths.
                                                                                                                                                                                            • When Chuck Norris provides you the finger, he is telling you what number of seconds you could have left to stay.
                                                                                                                                                                                              • Chuck Norris performs Russian roulette with a completely loaded revolver. And wins.
                                                                                                                                                                                                • Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless cellphone.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Chuck Norris as soon as shot an enemy airplane down together with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
                                                                                                                                                                                                    • On the seventh day, God rested. Then, Chuck Norris took over.
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Chuck Norris has a mug of nails as an alternative of espresso within the morning.
                                                                                                                                                                                                        • If you happen to spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Ceaselessly.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Chuck Norris as soon as had a coronary heart assault. His coronary heart misplaced.
                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Chuck Norris can contact MC Hammer.
                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Chuck Norris’ e-mail handle is Gmail@chucknorris.com
                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Chuck Norris’s GPS by no means tells him to show round.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • When Chuck Norris was in center faculty, his English trainer assigned an essay: “What’s braveness?” He obtained an A+ for handing over a clean web page with solely his title on the prime.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his Mom house from the hospital.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Chuck Norris as soon as bowled an ideal sport with a marble.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as ‘You Know Who’.

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